Prediction: 1997 Is Going to Be Great

Considering the manner in which 1996 ended, with the reputation of the defending NFL champion Dallas Cowboys dragged once more through the mud, there was cause to believe the entire year was an illusion.

More often than not, as with the sight of Muhammad Ali lighting the flame atop the Olympic Stadium in Atlanta, sports rose above the muck. Michael Johnson got his double, New York staged a glorious parade for the Yankees and Evander Holyfield slew his dragon. Baseball owners and players even agreed to a new collective-bargaining agreement after four years of wrangling.

But the latest allegations against two perennial Pro Bowlers cast a pall over the NFL playoffs and the start of 1997. Count on a mixed bag of developments in the New Year. To wit:

JANUARY

Circling the wagons against outside criticism and overcoming the temptations of New Orleans night life, the Cowboys seize their second consecutive Super Bowl championship and fourth in the last five years by routing the New England Patriots, 35-10. Michael Irvin earns MVP honors with eight catches for 126 yards and three touchdowns while dragging a ball and chain across the Superdome carpet.

FEBRUARY

Rebuffed by Bill Parcells and other accomplished NFL coaches in their attempt to reverse an image as losers, the New York Jets hire Jerry Stiller to reprise his role as Vince Lombardi from the Nike television ads. “Winning isn’t everything,” he proclaims at his introductory news conference. “But anyone who has watched this team for the last few seasons already knows that.”

Mike Keenan is appointed coach of Team Canada for the 1998 Olympics in Nagano, leading Wayne Gretzky to press for U.S. citizenship.

MARCH

Building on the success of “Arli$$” and “Jerry Maguire,” NBC proposes a miniseries based on the life and times of sports agent David Falk. Michael Jordan and Bugs Bunny are hired as project consultants.

Baseball’s last 30-game winner, Denny McLain, awaiting appeal of his conviction for money laundering, theft and mail fraud, applies for the job of baseball commissioner. He contends that his well-publicized greed would enable him to form a strong working relationship, not only with owners but many of the game’s top players.

APRIL

Tiger Woods, 21, scores a two-stroke victory in the Masters at Augusta and bystanders swear they saw him walk on water before he chips in from the pond fronting the 12th green at Amen Corner.

Peyton Manning is selected by the New Orleans Saints with the second pick of the NFL draft and agrees to a contract only after his father, Archie, is appointed executive vice president and general manager.

MAY

In Game 4 of their best-of-seven NBA Eastern Conference semifinals, Cleveland and Miami fail to score a combined 100 points. The rest of the series is canceled for lack of interest.

Albert Belle and Roberto Alomar get into a spitting contest at second base during a game between the Chicago White Sox and Baltimore Orioles while umpires applaud. The game is postponed because of excessive moisture on the field at Comiskey Park, and American League President Gene Budig suspends both men for one at-bat in their next series. The players association appeals.

JUNE

At long last, Greg Norman posts the low score at a U.S.-based major. The leaderboard at Congressional Country Club credits him with an eight-stroke advantage but he signs an inaccurate card and is disqualified. The U.S. Open trophy is presented to the runner-up, Woods.

In the most widely viewed television marriage since Tiny Tim and Miss Vicki took their vows on the Tonight Show, Dennis Rodman weds himself at halftime of the NBA Finals opener between the Chicago Bulls and the Houston Rockets. Charles Barkley gives the bride away.

JULY

After being disqualified during instructions before his bout against Ray Mercer for belting the referee below the belt, Andrew Golota announces his retirement from the ring. He opens the first in a series of successful bar-restaurants called “The Foul Pole” in the vicinity of Wrigley Field.

For his victory at the British Open, Woods is hailed as the second coming of Bobby Jones in the birthplace of golf and nominated for membership in the Royal & Ancient Golf Club at St. Andrews.

AUGUST

Jerry Jones, always on the lookout for sources of additional revenue, signs a contract with Fox TV for a weekly series about the Cowboys to run during the upcoming NFL season. It will be called “America’s Most Wanted Team.”

Woods three-putts on the 72nd hole of the PGA championship at Winged Foot, costing himself a Grand Slam but sparing himself from a record gallery of some 100,000 believers who had stormed the course and hoped to carry him off on their shoulders.

“He is not perfect,” his father, Earl, concedes afterward. “Yet.”

SEPTEMBER

Despite arthroscopic surgery on his right shoulder during a changeover, Pete Sampras rallies to defeat Michael Chang in the final of the men’s championship at the first U.S. Open staged in the new stadium at Flushing Meadows Park. In the previous match, Steffi Graf of Germany never loses focus as her father’s confession to tax evasion charges is played over the public address system, and she vanquishes Martina Hingis for the women’s title.

The Cowboys, wearing horizontally striped uniforms, win their first game under head Coach Lou Holtz on an Emmitt Smith plunge on the final play. The headline in the next day’s Dallas Morning News identifies it as “The Longest Yard.”

OCTOBER

Jeffrey Maier, repositioned in the left-field stands, reaches over the fence at Yankee Stadium and deflects Juan Gonzalez’ drive away from Tim Raines in the ninth inning of the final game of the American League division series, helping the Texas Rangers overcome the Yankees. He is booed by the crowd and swiftly ejected by security personnel in the area.

The Florida Marlins score a blockbuster victory over Texas in the seventh game of the World Series when Bobby Bonilla slugs a grand slam off John Wetteland in the ninth inning, his first hit of the postseason.

NOVEMBER

A rededicated Mike Tyson regains a share of the heavyweight championship by battering Lennox Lewis three months after Evander Holyfield retires to become the first commissioner of boxing in the United States.

Having fulfilled his contract with the Yankees, Joe Torre signs a contract to become president and general manager of the moribund Mets, who unveil plans for a new stadium in the man’s old Brooklyn neighborhood of Marine Park.

DECEMBER

Jerry Stiller posts his fifth victory as coach of the Jets, surpassing Rich Kotite’s total from the previous two seasons.

At the urging of Jerry Jones, NFL owners vote to award expansion franchises to the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah, effective at the start of the 2000 season.