Punch Lines

Annals of Television: Two men whose fishing boat sank near Hawaii on Dec. 9 were rescued from a raft this week. “However,” Premiere Morning Sickness reports, “after hearing that Tom Arnold would be starring in another sitcom, Richard Enslow and David Summers quickly paddled back out to sea.”

The Bryant Gumbel farewell garnered the highest “Today Show” ratings in seven years. “It just goes to show that if you give the viewers what they want, they’ll tune in,” says Bob Mills.

After becoming one of Comedy Central’s most popular shows, Bill Maher’s “Politically Incorrect” made its network TV debut on ABC this week. “This exposes a much bigger audience to jokes they won’t get,” says the Olympia Daily World.

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Science Watch: Government and auto industry officials are debating which crash dummies best imitate humans in accidents. Says Paul Ryan, “They can’t decide whether it’s the ones who play with the radio and do their makeup, or the ones who eat Danishes and spill hot coffee in their laps.”

* “Hewlett Packard has developed a $54,000 atomic clock that will keep the correct time for the next 1.6 million years. The only problem: It keeps flashing 12:00.” (Ryan)

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In the news: “In California, flooding washed away entire communities, blizzards trapped towns up north, and windstorms destroyed power for 200,000 in Los Angeles. If California were a fight, they’d stop it.” (Argus Hamilton)

First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton has been nominated for a Grammy for her work on the audio version of her book, “It Takes a Village.” “Rumors are surfacing that Mrs. Clinton will perform at the Grammys with her current band, the Special Prosecutors.” (Bill Edwards)

“NBA forward Robert Horry was suspended for two games for throwing a towel in his coach’s face. Fans expressed shock. A Suns player had hit something he was aiming at.” (Alan Ray)

The founder of Virgin Atlantic Airways attempted to circle the world in a hot air balloon. “What does it say about this guy’s airline that he’d rather take a balloon?” (Jimmy McConnell).

Now that the Dodgers are up for sale, there’s talk of bringing them back to Brooklyn. Says Johnny Robish, “If this keeps up, the only professional sports L.A. will have left will be high speed chases.”

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Reader Nancy Thompson says that her daughters Casey, 7, and Jaime, 3, often have tea parties with their miniature silver tea set and choice of fine china cups from Mom’s demitasse collection. During a recent tea party, Casey was explaining to Jaime how to curl her pinky finger while holding the cup and told her in a refined voice:

“That’s how a real lady sucks her tea.”