Our Money’s Worth

By Washington standards, the $30 million being spent on inaugural festivities is mere chump change. But out here in the real world, the rest of us could probably find other ways to spend a bankroll that size. Here are a few things $30 million might buy:

* 10 million trips across the Golden Gate Bridge, which doesn’t exactly lead to the 21st century, but you get the idea.

* 1,156,069 copies of Dick Morris’ new book, “Behind the Oval Office.”

* Or 150,000 business hours with Morris’ hooker friend.

* Or 6 million copies of President Clinton’s book “Between Hope and History”--currently remaindered at $5.

* 30 Tomahawk missiles.

* Or 4 million military surplus blankets.

* Nearly nine years of welfare checks for 500 L.A. single mothers with two kids apiece.

* 19,108,280 complete holiday meals, consisting of turkey, dressing, hot vegetables, mashed potatoes, gravy, cranberry sauce and pie, as served by the Los Angeles Mission.

* School lunches for 16,129,032 students.

* Computers for 20,000 elementary school students.

* Shoes for 1.2 million people. * Woodwind instruments for 75,000 public school children.

* Meals on Wheels for 12 million elderly people.

* Admission to the L.A. Children’s Museum for 6 million kids.

* Michael Jordan’s services for one season.

* The cost of making half of the movie “Evita.”

* Severance pay from Disney for one-third of Michael Ovitz. (Which third? Your call.)

* Boston’s brand-new Mormon temple with six spires.

* 394 Mercedes-Benz S420 cars.

* Or 1,579 Ford Taurus GLs.

* 60 million Winchell’s doughnuts--handy in case you get stopped for speeding.

* 10% of the Los Angeles Dodgers--let’s say just the shortstops. (We know the numbers on this one don’t exactly crunch . . . but just call it a ballpark figure.)