For a Rivalry, Bulls-Knicks Is Awfully One-Sided

Michael Jordan likes to step on the New York Knicks because they have the biggest press corps and the network offices are there. Chicago Coach Phil Jackson doesn’t like the Knicks because they’re too rough and not good sports. Scottie Pippen likes to run his mouth on them, but it’s nothing personal, he just wants to be like Mike.

Knick Coach Jeff Van Gundy thinks Jackson is a phony and Jordan is a con guy.

Jackson and Jordan want to know how a little nobody from nowhere is calling them names.

Bulls and Knicks, Knicks and Bulls, two teams that could have had the rivalry of the ‘90s--major markets, superstars, bad feeling--if only the Knicks could have won a few.

(Not that everyone else hasn’t had the same problem. Consequently, there has been no rivalry of the ‘90s, the Bulls beating four different teams in the Eastern finals and four different ones in the finals.)

The Knicks got their latest chance last week. Van Gundy had been warming up for months.

He sawed on Jackson’s considerable pride of authorship (“I read his book. . . . It’s a must-read because he’s a very good coach. There’s some very good coaching stuff in there if you can get past all the self-serving stuff.”) and love of Native American lore (“Our biggest concern in the off-season was to find as many Indian artifacts as we could.”)

He told a Chicago radio station Jordan was nice to opponents--like Charles Oakley, an old friend from their days as teammates, and Patrick Ewing, whom Jordan got into “Space Jam”--to lull them to sleep.

“You watch him, game in and game out,” Van Gundy said, “and he sidles up next to guys and smiles at them, pats them on the butt and then he goes out there and kicks their butts. And they hug him after the game, like that was some great thing that he got 45 on them. I don’t understand it.

“He sucks them into thinking that he wants to see them develop. He talks about young players, he invites people to be in his movies and it’s all a con.”

Last season Van Gundy called Jordan “nasty.” Bugs Bunny may think Jordan’s child-friendly, but to Van Gundy, he’s more like Dennis Rodman with a jump shot.

Jordan, who likes what remains of his Boy Scout image, was incensed.

“That’s a crock,” he said. “He never played the game, so he doesn’t know.”

Said Van Gundy: “He obviously didn’t know I scored in double figures my last year at Nazareth.”

This all began years ago when Pat Riley, an ace at using the press to stir up the opposition, was in New York. Along came Jackson, who put Riley on his heels by attacking him personally. Riley, hurt but intent on not showing it, wouldn’t respond, so Jackson got away with using him like a pincushion.

Now along comes Van Gundy to give Phil the Jackson treatment. Jackson can’t acknowledge this pipsqueak is getting to him, so now he’s the pincushion.

To complete the historical perspective, Jackson used to complain Riley wouldn’t let Knick players and assistants talk to his guys. Recently, Jackson told Jason Caffey not to shake fellow Alabama native Charles Barkley’s hand. This lends credence to the theory that despite their differences, Jackson and Riley are twins, separated at birth.

To make a long item short, Jordan scored 51 points against the Knicks on Tuesday. Who knows, maybe stepping on Superman’s cape isn’t the way to go?

The Bulls won, 88-87, but it wasn’t that close, the Knicks making two three-point shots in the last 11 seconds.

Said Jordan to his friend/Knick fan Spike Lee afterward: “The next time your coach opens his mouth, tell him to put some shoes on and come out and play.”

Next meeting is March 9 in New York. If the Knicks could win one, we might actually have something.

DENNIS: THE TAB IS STILL RUNNING

No word yet on the identity of Rodman’s league-mandated shrink. Whoever it is will want to see him five days a week, an hour a day. Dennis will ask if he can’t just tell the doc he’s sorry over the phone.

“Prime Time Live” did a show on the subject. War, peace and now Rodman.

Rodman said he was sorry but repeated that Eugene Amos, the cameraman he kicked during a game against Minnesota at the Target Center, was acting. If there’s one thing Dennis can’t stand, it’s being out-acted.

Jackson said Rodman has “two strikes and four fouls.”

Final totals aren’t in, but here’s a preliminary estimate of the cost:

Fine: $25,000.

Suspension: $1 million in lost salary.

Incentive bonuses he can’t realize: $500,000.

Lost commercial endorsements from Carl’s Jr., which pulled his TV commercial: $200,000.

Settlement with Amos: $200,000. (It’s going to be really crowded on the baseline now, with all the camera people wearing “Kick me” signs.)

Total to date: $1,925,000.

Also, $1 million in salary that was to be paid this year will be deferred, as a consequence of his playing fewer than 79 games.

THE DIESEL MEETS RIP VAN CAMPBELL

Shaquille O’Neal’s a real Angeleno now. He has learned the freeways, when to stay off them to avoid rush hour (6 a.m. to midnight) and Elden Campbell’s nap times.

There are several ways of looking at his pointed criticism of an unnamed but identifiable teammate:

What else is new? If Shaq wanted a hard-working power forward, he could have stayed in Orlando with Horace Grant.

Shaq showed leadership. Magic Johnson used to do stuff like this, so it must be OK.

Shaq did it wrong. Magic used a spoonful of sugar to make the medicine go down, as when he’d tell Campbell to approach the game like a bank vault that was about to open.

For better and/or worse, Campbell is what he is. Big, talented, not as good at little things (rebounding) as big things (scoring, blocking shots), fades when you don’t put the ball in his hands, especially in non-contract years . . . like the next six.

Maybe it will help, but next time O’Neal should just sidle up to Campbell, tell him he’s interested in his development, put him in a movie and then mention he’d better get it in gear or he’s going to smash him into jelly.

NAMES AND NUMBERS

The Boston Celtics’ loss to the Philadelphia 76ers was a big one for M.L. Carr, who may have thought he was a lock in the Tim Duncan derby after putting 6-foot-8 Antoine Walker at center and giving up an average of 112 points in the last six games, only to see the 76ers go 1-23 and hurtle past him. Meanwhile, Carr’s players are rallying around their home-town Patriots. “I’m hoping they win the Super Bowl,” Dana Barros said. “Then everyone will be talking about them and covering the big parade for another week. That’ll keep people off our backs for a while longer.” . . . For the Dallas Mavericks, the best trades are always the ones they don’t make: Minority owner Frank Zaccanelli, the Realtor who works out with the team and runs the basketball operation, told Jamal Mashburn and Jim Jackson they’re off the trading block. Mashburn responded with his best games of the season but, asked about the boss’ reassurances, said: “We’ll see.”

The Houston Rockets are so worried about their age (four starters over 33) and lack of depth, Barkley was lobbying for Detroit Piston reject Stacey Augmon, before Augmon was traded to Portland. . . . Barkley on Robert Horry’s towel throwing, which got him traded from Phoenix to the Lakers: “That was a real smart business decision on his part. The money he lost in fines, he’ll more than make up for in playoff money.”

Sacramento King owner Jim Thomas wants the city to help pay off $90 million in debt or he’ll be forced to move, etc. The city has its own debt, has never shared in any of the profits and may think buying all 17,317 of Thomas’ tickets for every game is subsidy enough. Declared Mitch Richmond at a City Council meeting: “If we lose the Kings, the city goes back to what it’s always been, a dead city.” Comment: If the Kings are all that’s between the city and death, they might as well declare themselves a village (it’s not so bad, there are lots of them out there) and save the $90 million. . . . There he goes again: Larry Brown blistered the Indiana Pacers after losing at home to the Golden State Warriors and barely beating the 76ers, complaining there are no team leaders. “We have zero,” he said. “We have three captains [Reggie Miller, Dale Davis, Antonio Davis], all experienced guys and they defer to Travis Best.” Said Miller, sounding as if he’s counting down the minutes: “If Larry says we lack it, we lack it.”