If We Don’t Eat, You Don’t Eat!

Speakers who attended the MTA board meeting Thursday included everyone from bus riders complaining about service and subway critics complaining about construction to lobbyists seeking contracts.

Nearly every public transportation issue had been discussed when one woman arose and told the board, “If we can’t have food here on this side, you ought not to be able to eat up there.”

She was referring to the fact that when the meeting dragged on past noon, the cafeteria in the plush MTA building had thoughtfully brought food for the board members.

If the members were trying to starve their critics, though, the strategy wasn’t completely successful. The meeting lasted until 1:30 p.m.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT: Robert Chew of L.A. saw a barbecue restaurant’s sign that prompted him to observe: “Looks like Genghis Khan’s empire extended farther than we all thought!” (see photo).

Yes, the idea of Genghis Khan conquering Japan was news to me, too. But I seem to recall reading that Genghis later fell in love with Japanese food after capturing New York.

NO PACEMAKERS ALLOWED: Arlene Abuan of Canoga Park found a dish in another eatery that is not recommended for the faint of heart (see accompanying).

HOW’S MY DRIVING? When a pickup truck struck a 1997 Jeep Cherokee in North Hollywood and fled the scene, the Jeep pursued it. The Jeep driver also called police on his cellular phone, Police Sgt. Rick Faulkner said.

The truck stopped in Hollywood, but only to allow the driver to scamper away on foot. A passenger took over the wheel and the chase resumed. The Jeep driver kept police apprised of the various infractions that the new driver was allegedly committing along the way.

Finally, in Boyle Heights, the truck stopped and that occupant fled. No one replaced him at the wheel. Officers arrived and produced someone suspected of being driver No. 2 about 30 minutes later.

But the Jeep owner could not positively identify No. 2 and that person was released.

The chase had lasted 10 to 15 minutes. Police said they advised the Jeep driver to leave the pursuits to the black and white units in the future.

FOLLOW THE SUN: Recent items here about people giving directions reminded Andy Young about a conversation he had near San Diego State.

One early evening, a student stopped him on Montezuma Road and asked him which way was east on that street.

“Well,” Young said, pointing to his left, “that way is east. But you don’t need me to tell you because there’s the sun down at the other end of the street.”

“Yes,” the student replied, “but I’m new in San Diego and don’t know my way around.”

THE WITNESS IS INSTRUCTED TO ANSWER YES OR NO: The county district attorney’s Long Beach office was throwing a going-away party for prosecutors Kim Herman and Sean Hassett, both of whom had received new assignments. Hassett showed up late, still wearing dark glasses. He thanked everyone, including Herman.

Especially Herman.

In fact, he asked her to marry him.

Before anyone could shout for order in the court, the other office members were urging Herman to say yes. Which she did.

Hassett was late, incidentally, because he had stopped to buy a ring on the way.

miscelLAny

This sounds like a sure-fire concept for a TV quiz show. A billboard off the Long Beach Freeway says, WHO’S THE FATHER? with an accompanying toll-free number, 1-800-DNA-TYPE.

*

Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712,by e-mail at [email protected] and by mail at Metro, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.