It’s Never Too Early to Think About Pennant Races

One minute, the Angels are grabbing Ken Hill. The next minute, the Dodgers are grabbing first place.

Now thousands of locals are grabbing calendars, looking at September, thinking pennant races, not one but two, within 40 miles of each other, thousands thinking this could be one splendid autumn.

Well, OK. I am.

September 23

A Tuesday night, six days left in the regular season.

The Angels move into first place by half a game by defeating the Mariners in Seattle, 6-5, on Tim Salmon’s two-run homer against reliever Mike Timlin.

The Mariners blow their final chance when their starting left fielder strikes out with the bases loaded. His name is Rob Ducey.

Two months earlier, that left fielder’s name is Jose Cruz Jr., and that strikeout is a probably a game-winning double.

“I know, they traded the wrong guy,” Ducey says.

“I know, they traded for the wrong guy,” Timlin says.

“Where’s Tony Phillips?” Ken Griffey Jr. says, looking up at Mariner officials in the press box. “I want him to teach me how to give somebody a beating.”

Back home, the Dodgers increase their lead over the San Francisco Giants to 1 1/2 games with a 5-4 victory over the San Diego Padres while the Giants are losing in Colorado.

It is a most impressive victory considering the Dodgers, on a whim, field a lineup comprised entirely of clubhouse translators.

September 24

A Wednesday night, five days left in the regular season.

The Dodgers play the Padres at 5 p.m., a wonderful starting time for a school night.

“Give us a break, we’ve already had Fan Appreciation Day,” claims one Dodger official.

Indeed they have, three days earlier, at 5 p.m. on another school night.

Still, more than 35,000 show up to watch the Dodgers lose, 10-5, allowing the winning Giants to close within half a game.

Up north, the Angels also lose, 15-6, falling behind the Mariners by half a game. Ken Hill proves he is the anti-Clemens, walking 20, striking out none.

September 25

A Thursday night, four days left in the regular season.

The Angels return home to close the season with four games against the Texas Rangers, and what an exciting finish it will be.

Four hundred fans crowd the Big A for the opening pitch. Another couple of hundred of those Orange County fanatics show up in the seventh inning, after the end of their high school football games.

During a 6-3 victory that pulls the Angels back into a first-place tie, Tony Tavares brings a microphone to home plate and pleads with fans to believe in him and his team.

He is promptly thunked in the head by a year-old cinnamon roll.

“Should have borrowed my hard hat,” an usher says.

The Dodgers travel to Colorado and increase their lead to a full game over the idle Giants. They defeat the Rockies, 1-0, after Larry Walker takes himself out of the lineup rather than face Dennis Reyes.

September 26

A Friday night, three days left in the regular season.

This time the Dodgers lose, 1-0, to the Rockies. They claim it had nothing to do with a pregame distraction in which half the Dodger clubhouse took the other half hostage, demanding religious freedom and the construction of a currency exchange window in the dugout.

Dodger officials come up with a solution: more translators.

The team remains one game ahead after the Padres beat the Giants and reliever Julian Tavarez in 10 innings. The Giants’ two bullpen aces were unavailable after Rod Beck loudly accused Roberto Hernandez of stealing his cigarettes.

Before an enthusiastic Ranger crowd of 28,000, the Angels win another home game against Texas, 4-3, to move into first place by one game after the punchless Mariners lose at home to an Oakland team with nine complete strangers.

Surrounded by an outfield wearing borrowed hard hats, reliever Troy Percival records a save, and his first 1-2-3 inning in five months.

September 27

The Angels remain in first place after losing a heartbreaking 5-4 decision to Texas while the bitter Mariners were losing again to Oakland.

Jim Leyritz, who has not bathed since being traded from here in late July, provides the Ranger heroics by hitting a single and stealing second, third and home uncontested.

The Dodgers lose again in Colorado, 1-0. Mike Piazza does not show up in the dugout until the eighth inning after forgetting his passport.

Again, it doesn’t matter because the Giants also lose to the Padres, again in 10 innings, again with reliever Tavarez on the mound. This time, it is Hernandez accusing Beck of stealing his doughnuts.

September 28

Despite having two players called out for illegal equipment after forgetting to remove their United Nations-style earpieces, the Dodger defeat the Rockies, 1-0, to win the National League West title.

At the same time, the Angels are winning the American League West title by defeating the Rangers, 5-4.

Dodger Manager Bill Russell is given a big, sloppy, crumb-filled, sauce-stained, disgusting vote of confidence by his new boss, Tom Lasorda.

Angel Manager Terry Collins is fired.