No sleep
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Each word is taken from the vanity plate master list issued by the DMV*
*
TEN32 PM: EARLEY 2BED, 4ONCE.
IMSPENT, XHAUSTD. YOOHOOO,
MORFEUS! TAKE ME, IMURS.
*
TEN33: CARALRM.
*
TEN50: DAMCATS.
*
ELEVN11: IDONT1A LISN2 MIII NAYBOR PRAKTIS HIZZ 1ORSAX RITENOW. BUTIDO.
*
ELEVN54: PEECE ATLAAZT. IDO DRIFTE OFF.
*
12OH5 AM: THEFONE! WRONGNO!
AHHCMON. DOI SSOUND LYKE EVALIN?
*
TWELVE 37: 2SLEEP. PRCHNCE
2DREEAM. ZZZZ.
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12 38: IMNOT EVALYN! IAMNOT EVLYN!
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ONE12: FLYNLOH AND LOUD, DIS KOPP HELCPTR WIL CIRCLL MIII STREETE FORRRE 58 ENDLSS MINITZ. OGODPLZ MAKEM STOP!
*
TWO41: DUH COUPLE BELOW DYD JUST FINISH MAKIN LLOVE. TIS SUMMERR, WINDOZ STAY OPEN, ANDD IHEARD ALL: GDTHNG WERLIVN INNN KAL4NIA, THOZII COUDBE ARESTED IN SUM SOUTHRN STATES.
*
THREE18: DRIPN FAUCETT.
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THREE56: ALLALNE, NDADARK, SLEEPLS, IDOIDO LOOK N2 THEVOID. WTSLIFE? YMIHEER? YDOITRI? WTSDPNT? WTZ4DNR?
*
FOUR26: NNO, IAMIAM
NOTT EVELYNS DADDD!
*
5TEN: 1STLITE. THEBYRD CHORUS BEGINS.
*
SIX07: OVER ABIGGE BOWL OF HOTTT MUSHH ISTART 2WONDA WUT CANI LEARNN FROM MI TRBULNT NYTE. THISS: GIVEUP. SURRNDER. BEVELYN. YESYESS! ZE PHONE RINGS. IMXCYTD. “OHELLO,’ SEZME, “ZISIS EVVIE. CNIHEPU?
*For translation of PL8SPK, please see Page 25.
(BEGIN TEXT OF INFOBOX / INFOGRAPHIC))
(Translation of PL8SPK, Page 7
No Sleep
*
10:32 p.m.: Early to bed, for once. I’m spent, exhausted. Yoo-hoo, Morpheus! Take me, I’m yours.
10:33: Car alarm.
10:50: Damn cats.
11:11: I don’t want to listen to my neighbor practice his tenor sax right now. But I do.
11:54: Peace at last. I drift off.
12:05 a.m.: The phone! Wrong number! Ahh, c’mon. Do I sound like Evelyn?
12:37: To sleep. Perchance to dream. Zzz.
12:38: I’m not Evelyn! I am not Evelyn!
1:12 Flying low and loud, this cop helicopter will circle my street for 58 endless minutes. Oh God, please make them stop!
2:41: The couple below did just finish making love. It’s summer, windows stay open, and I heard all: Good thing we’re living in California, those two could be arrested in some Southern states.
3:18: Dripping faucet.
3:56: All alone, in the dark, sleepless, I look into the void.
What is life? Why am I here? Why do I try? What’s the point? What’s for dinner?
4:26: No, I am not Evelyn’s dad!
5:10: First light. The bird chorus begins.
6:07: Over a big bowl of hot mush, I start to wonder what can I learn from my turbulent night.
This: Give up. Surrender. Be Evelyn! Yes, yes! The phone rings. I’m excited. “Oh, hello,’ says me, “this is Evvie. Can I help you?’
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