Heart Attack Forces Move

One 71-year-old widow lived a busy, independent life alone in her Encino home for eight years after her husband died. Then a heart attack in 1992 changed everything.

“After my heart attack, I couldn’t remember things,” said the woman, who’s also diabetic. “Sometimes I didn’t know when my blood sugar got low. I have to take lots and lots of pills, and living by myself, I just couldn’t remember.

“I got frightened. What if I fell? What if I didn’t remember something important? I lost confidence in my abilities.”

The woman’s son and his wife were there to help. The widow, who asked that her name not be used, sold her three-bedroom home, and her son and daughter-in-law put their Thousand Oaks house on the market.

After a long search for a house with enough space and privacy, the extended family moved into a 5,600-square-foot home with two master suites in the North Ranch area of Thousand Oaks.

Luckily, the family’s financial situation--the widow’s husband was a successful developer; her son manages the family properties--enabled them to find a house that met their needs.

The woman misses Encino and her daughter-in-law is nostalgic for her old neighborhood--less opulent, friendlier and more family-oriented.

But the setup of their house gives the widow her own suite, with a private entrance to the garden and pool, on the ground floor. Her son and daughter-in-law have an enormous bedroom with bath, originally intended as a game room, on the second floor with the children’s bedrooms.

The daughter-in-law does the cooking, incorporating her mother-in-law’s dietary restrictions. The widow drives, a necessity in their remote, hilly area, which has no transit service and no sidewalks. “Without driving I would be in terrible shape,” she admits. “I still go to Encino to my doctor and my hairdresser.”

And she experiences both joy and frustration from being so close to her grandchildren--17, 11 and 10. “I’m here and I hear all their problems, but my daughter-in-law is their mother, so I’m not really a part of the solutions.”

Working out household logistics isn’t a problem, she said. “I’m in on the big decisions. But there can’t be two housewives. My daughter-in-law is in charge--this is her home.”