NSRCHOV ZPAPER

Each word is taken from the vanity plate master list issued by the DMV*

*

JUSTAN ORDNARI DAE. AFTER IBOUGHT

LOWPHAT MOKA FRZYGRT ANNDD SUM

NEWDLES AT TR8R JOEZ, IDID HED

BAKHOM 2D PL8SPK MANSION. THEN

ISAWIT: ZE REDLITE FLASHIN BHINDME.

ITHINK, “DRAT!” ANDTHEN, “OSELAVI.”

*

“HIOFISR,” SEZME. “ISURNDR.”

*

“LYSINCE AND REG,” HESAYS.

HEES ALLBZNS, AREAL TUFCKIE.

*

IDO HNDOBR MII LICINSE, NOPROBB.

BUT TTO LOCATE THEREG IGOTTA

SEARCH MYYY GLOV BOXX. THISSS

COUDBE 2RUBLE.

*

HERES WHADIDO DISKUVR INSYDE:

ONE TUTZROL, ASAMOAN FRASE

BOOKE, ASMALL BUSTOF B8OVIN,

ABAGEL, 2ANAQTR INNN

NKLNDYM, 2YELOW CRAYONS,

UNO HAIRNET (DONTAZK), AN MPRZZIV

ZELF PORTR8 UV MYFREN “FROGBOY”

ONDA BACKOF ANOLDE FONE BIL,

HALFOFF COUPONZ FORE 2NAMELT

SNDWCHS ANDA DNTLPIK.

*

DAA COPPS GROWING MP8SHNT.

“WTSMATA?” HESED. “ISTHIS 2HRD4U?”

*

NOW IMUST FINDYT! ISEEE

2THPSTE, PRETZLS, ANNNN

OCARINA, ATOY FRIDGE, FLEA

PWDR, 1ORANGE XTNSION

CORD, AVERY KRYPTIK POSTCRD

FROM FRANCE (“ILNEIGE!

SNDMONY!”), GLITTER, GLU

AND1 RBRCHKN.

*

SUDNLY NMY MNDSEYE IVZULIZ

DA IDEALL GLUVBOX: FLSHLTE,

APHEW MAPS, OFISHAL PAPERS.

NOMOR. ITSDA GLOVE BOXXX

UVA ZENMONK. IFONLY

MILIFE COULDB ZAT ZIMPLE.

*

BUTIDO NOT UNEARTH THA DMV

PAPERO, EVEN AFTERAL THAT.

REGRDLS, THE FEDUPP

OFFICER DUZZ TOSS THETKT ON2

DE DEBRIS ANDIAM AL1. JUSME

AANDD MIII CHIKN.

*

For translation of PL8SPK, please see Page 31. Illustration by Herve Blandon

(BEGIN TEXT OF INFOBOX / INFOGRAPHIC)

(translation: PL8SPK) In Search of the Paper

Just an ordinary day. After I bought lowfat mocha frozen yogurt and some noodles at Trader Joe’s, I did head back home to the PL8SPK Mansion. Then I saw it: the red light flashing behind me. I think, “Drat!” And then, “Oh, c’est la vie.” “Hi, officer,” says me. “I surrender.” “License and registration,” he says. He’s all business, a real tough cookie. I do hand over my license, no problem. But to locate the registration, I got to search my glove box. This could be trouble. Here’s what I do discover inside: one Tootsie Roll, a Samoan phrase book, a small bust of Beethoven, a bagel, two and a quarter in nickels and dimes, two yellow crayons, uno hairnet (don’t ask), an impressive self-portrait of my friend “Frogboy” on the back of an old phone bill, half-off coupons for tuna melt sandwiches and a dental pick. The cop’s growing impatient. “What’s the matter?” he said. “Is this too hard for you?” Now I must find it! I see toothpaste, pretzels, an ocarina, a toy fridge, flea powder, one orange extension cord, a very cryptic postcard from France (“Il neige! Send money!”), glitter, glue and one rubber chicken. Suddenly in my mind’s eye, I visualize the ideal glove box: flashlight, a few maps, official papers. No more. It’s the glove box of a Zen monk. If only my life could be that simple. But I do not unearth the DMV paper, even after all that. Regardless, the fed-up officer does toss the ticket onto the debris, and I am alone. Just me and my chicken.