WEEK 1 PRIMER

Team: Comment

1. North Carolina (0-0): Stickin’ to this story, at least until Tarheels play

2. Penn State (0-0): All this pub and SI cover must be killing Paterno

3. Florida (0-0): Shucks, Gators gave Spurrier $2 million reasons to stay

4. Florida State (0-0): Wanted: NCAA eligible players W/O warrants willing to suit up for USC opener

5. Washington (0-0): Counting down days until possible Orange Bowl bid

6. Nebraska (0-0) The state that brings you quality football and tainted beef

7. Tennessee (0-0): Computer geek Manning admits to crashing Texas Tech Web site

8. Colorado (0-0): No truth to rumor QB John Hessler is older than Coach Rick Neuheisel

9. Notre Dame (0-0): New stadium renovations do not include Gerry Faust Cloak Room

10. Ohio State (1-0): Lackluster victory over Wyoming a cause for concern?

11. Syracuse (1-0): What a shock, Beano Cook picked Wisconsin last weekend

12. LSU (0-0): Marshall Faulk only wishes he was related to LSU’s Kevin

13. Stanford (0-0): QB Chad Hutchinson’s 5.76 ERA as pitcher has Rockies interested

14. Miami (0-0): “Coach, a couple of the fellas are wondering if we can take a limo to the opener.”

15. Texas (0-0): Longhorns shooting for fourth straight league crown--if you count SWC

16. Auburn (0-0): Bobby called Terry, wants to borrow players for SC game

17. Arizona State (0-0): Can’t think of nickname for new QB Steve Campbell

18. Alabama (0-0): Tailback Dennis Riddle benched for Houston opener; oh, don’t fret, he’ll he back for Auburn

19. Michigan (0-0): Who made this schedule? Colorado, Notre Dame, Penn State and Ohio State?

20. USC (0-0): Dropped in AP poll without playing; must’ve had a bad practice

21. Clemson (0-0): Has had Appalachian State circled on calendar for months

22. Colorado State (0-0): So how come Notre Dame didn’t recruit Moses Moreno?

23. Brigham Young (0-0): Held summer seminars on how to chant, “Defense! Defense!”

24. UCLA (0-0): Great news: An NFL scout called last week, asking directions

25. Marshall (0-0): Moss says, Thundering Herd can beat Green Bay Packers, too.