St. Andrew’s expansion not savior for all children

I was interested in reading the letter to the editor in Sunday’s

Pilot by Kristy Neubo (“Smith off-point and Doe shares blame”).

While I think it is dangerous for a columnist to use the word

“always” or “never,” it seems logical to conclude that every teenager

(never mind adult) tells a lie at some time in his or her life.

Therefore, everybody lies.

In a conversation with a juvenile justice judge the other day, I

was amazed to hear that in the many years he has served as a judge,

only one juvenile offender has told the truth and taken

responsibility for his or her choice.

Telling the truth and taking responsibility for one’s choices are

skills that parents need to teach their children. If a parent has

allowed or created lying as an acceptable form of communication, a

child will most certainly continue to lie during the teen years.

Children who are given consistent and fair consequences learn that

they are in charge of their choices.

While it is true that children who are bored are more likely to

get into trouble, self-esteem and peer pressure are the major

contributors to someone making a poor choice. I co-wrote “Project

Self-Esteem,” the program Kristy Neubo used as a reference for

boredom being the cause of teenage lying and making poor choices.

Though I thank her for teaching and valuing the program, creating

places for children to go today will not solve the problems; they

will only change when we raise children with a good sense of

self-esteem and with a strong integrity base.

As for the expansion of St. Andrew’s being the place to save our

youth, I say “baloney!”

I live in a family home that faces St. Andrew’s Church. We have

lived here since 1947.

I used to belong to that church. The continual expansion programs

of that church have negatively impacted the neighborhoods surrounding

St. Andrew’s Church. We have lived with a variety of noise and space

invasions, none of which will lessen with the new expansion plans,

and we constantly deal with traffic from the church.

Last Wednesday evening, I was quietly watching television when a

couple of people ran down my driveway. I was aware, as we always are

on Wednesday nights, that the church youth group was dispersing at

St. Andrew’s Church.

Suddenly, there were more running people and a lot of yelling

followed by more people running down my driveway.

The light in the driveway had gone on with the first runner, and

I’m sure my TV sound was audible to the people.

I went out on my back porch and commanded them to leave. They

filed out in a row, about nine teenagers. Several of them apologized.

One said they thought it was an alley. The first group had been back

there long enough to know it wasn’t an alley.

A few months ago, after the usual Wednesday night noise, I heard a

bunch of boys yelling, “Get him! There!” Opening my front door, I saw

three guys tackle one guy on my front lawn. They broke up

immediately. I asked the boy who was down if he wanted me to call the

police, and he said he was all right.

My question to you is, can you imagine how much more of this type

of space invasion, both noise and physical, will happen when St.

Andrew’s Church expands and creates a gym for more kids to visit?

The proposed two-year project affects property value and the peace

of the community around the church. It also increases the lack of

safety for the children living in the surrounding homes.

Strategically, it makes perfect sense to sell the congregation and

community on the idea that the proposed gymnasium will help more

children, in Neubo’s words, have a place to go. I’d be the last

person against helping young people, but I see nothing but problems

associated with the church following its current plans.

Some 57 years ago, a community was built in the Newport Heights

area. Though it has been influenced by the presence of St. Andrew’s

Church and three schools, the Heights has always been a safe place to

raise children. It has been a community based on love and acceptance;

St. Andrew’s, with its leaders’ drive to build a cathedral fit for a

postage stamp, have changed the chemistry of our community.

The proposed expansion is illogical, ego-based and will cause far

more problems than solutions to the problems embracing our youth. I

am passionately opposed to the expansion plans for St. Andrew’s

Presbyterian Church in Newport Beach.

* SANDY SPURGEON MCDANIEL is a Newport Beach resident.